St. John Chrysostom and Little Women

Good morning, Friends of Lady K! 

I am an avid reader and thoroughly enjoy sharing with this community the books that have captivated my attention. Reading opens up my perspective and constantly teaches me new things! Books that push you, inspire you, and brighten your day can be so transformative. 

This book was recommended to me, and it contains the homily reflections written by St. John Chrysostom on the topics of Marriage and Family Life. 

A little background on St. Chrysostom: 

He was alive from 349-407 AD

Originally from Antioch but spent time in Syria

The patron saint of public speakers

His homilies would often be 2 hours long 

He became a bishop who suffered great criticism from the public 

He was exiled and later died in 407 AD

St. Chrysostom’s Feast Day is September 13th 

Catherine Roth and David Anderson translated this book, as the text was originally Greek. It is fascinating to discover that the issues facing the Church in the 4th Century are still incredibly relevant to modern-day times. This book details St. Chrysostom’s homilies during his priesthood. 

Homily Reflection on Ephesians 5:22-33

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His Body, and is Himself its Savior. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.” 

The following are excerpts from his writings:  

“Your wife is God’s creation. If you reproach her, you are not condemning her but Him who made her. What can the woman do about it? If your wife is beautiful, don’t praise her for it. Praise, hatred, and even love based on outward beauty come from impure souls. Seek beauty of the soul, and imitate the Bridegroom of the Church.” 

“St. Paul explicitly says that we are members of His flesh and of His bones. Understand that Adam was fashioned from matter, and Christ was born in the same. From Adam’s side came the bearer of corruption, but from Christ’s side came life. Death blossomed in paradise but was slain on the cross. The Son of God shares our nature so we can share His; as He has us in Him, so we have Him in us.” 

“The wife is a second authority. She should not demand for equality, for she is subject to the head; neither should the husband belittle her subjection, for she is the body. If the head despises the body, it will itself die. Rather, let the husband counterbalance her obedience with his love. Let the hands, the feet, and all the rest of the body’s parts be dedicated to the service of the head; but let the head provide for the body, for the head is responsible for all the members.”

“How foolish are those who belittle marriage! If marriage were something to be condemned, Paul would never call Christ a bridegroom and the Church a bride.” 

“If you desire greater respect, you must love as you are commanded.” 

“Seek the things which please God, and those which please man will follow soon enough.” 

“As with a general whose troops are so well organized on the front that the enemy cannot find a place to penetrate for an attack, so it is with husband and wife: when the concerns for everyone in the house are the same, harmony reigns in the family, but if not, the entire household is easily broken up and destroyed.” 

“But how is this behavior achieved? That it must be clear; now I will tell you how. It will be achieved if we are detached from money if we strive above everything for virtue, if we keep the fear of God before our eyes.”

“A wife should never nag her husband: “You lazy coward, you have no ambition! Look at our relatives and neighbors; they have plenty of money. Their wives have far better than I do.” Let no wife say any such thing; she is her husband's body, and it is not for her to dictate to her head, but to submit and obey.” 

^Comparison is the thief of joy. 

“If the bridegroom shows his wife that he takes no pleasure in worldly excess and will not stand for it, their marriage will remain free from the evil influences that are so popular these days.” 

“Whenever you give your wife advice, always begin by telling her how much you love her. Nothing will persuade her so well to admit the wisdom of your words as her assurance that you are speaking to her with sincere affection.” 

“Say to her, “Our time here is brief and fleeting, but if we are pleasing to God, we can exchange this life for the Kingdom to come. Then we will be perfectly one both with Christ and each other, and our pleasure will know no bounds. I value your love above all things, and nothing would be so bitter or painful to me as our being at odds with each other. Even if I lose everything, any affliction is tolerable if you will be true to me.” 

“Show her that you value her company, and prefer being at home to being out. Esteem her in the presence of your friends and children. Praise and show admiration for her good acts, and if she ever does anything foolish, advise her patiently. Pray together at home and go to Church; when you come back home, let each ask the other the meaning of the readings and the prayers. If you are overtaken by poverty, remember Peter and Paul, who were more honored than kings or rich men, though they spent their lives in hunger and thirst. Remind one another that nothing is to be feared, except offending God. If your marriage is like this, your perfection will rival the holiest of monks.” 

“Teach her to fear God, and all other good things will flow from this one lesson as from a fountain, and your house will be filled with ten thousand blessings. If we seek the things that are perfect, the secondary things will follow. The Lord says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” 

Homily on Ephesians 6:1-4

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and your mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise) “that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” 

On the commandment - Honor your Father and Mother 

“If a husband and wife order their lives according to God’s law, their children will also submit willingly to the same law.”

“The is the first good practice commanded us in the Scriptures, because before all others, except God, our parents are the authors of our life, and they deserve to be the first ones to receive the fruits of our good deeds.”

“We are so concerned with our children’s schooling; if only we were equally zealous in bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord!” 

“But it’s impossible, you say, for my son ever to become as great as he. Why is it impossible? Because you don’t really want it; you won’t entrust him to the One who is able to make him great.” 

Setting limits or placing dreams on our children. What is God’s desired plan for your child? 

“If a child learns a trade, or is highly educated for a lucrative profession, all this is nothing compared to the art of detachment from riches; if you want to make your child rich, teach him this. He is truly rich who does not desire great possessions, or surround himself with wealth, but who requires nothing. This is how to discipline and teach your child; this is the greatest riches.” 

“Don’t ask how he can enjoy a long life here, but how he can enjoy an infinite and eternal life in the age to come.” 

“When we teach our children to be good, to be gentle, to be forgiving (all these are attributes of God), to be generous, to love their fellow men, to regard this present age as nothing, we instill virtue in their souls, and reveal the image of God within them. This, then, is our task: to educate both ourselves and our children in godliness; otherwise, what answer will we have before Christ’s judgment-seat?” 

Homily on Colossians 4:18

“I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand. Remember my bonds. Grace be with you. Amen.”

“God’s ingenuity in the beginning divided one flesh into two; but He wanted to show that it remained one even after its division, so He made it impossible for either half to procreate without the other. Now, do you see how great a mystery marriage is?” 

“If you drive away the other things, Christ himself will come to your wedding, and where Christ goes, the angels’ choir follows. If you ask Him, He will work for you an even greater miracle than He worked in Cana: that is, He will transform the water of your unstable passions into the wine of spiritual unity.” 

“There is nothing more pleasurable than virtue, nothing sweeter than orderliness, nothing more honorable than dignity.” 

“When you are satisfied that the man is virtuous and decide what day they will be married, beseech Christ to be present at the wedding. He is not ashamed to come, for marriage is an image of His presence in the Church. Even better than this: pray that your children will each find such a virtuous spouse; entrust this concern of yours into His hands. If you honor Him this way, He will return honor for honor.” 

Homily On How To Choose A Wife 

“Just as Eve came from the side of Adam, he says, so we come from the side of Christ.” 

“Just as the woman was fashioned while Adam slept, so also, when Christ had died, the Church was formed from his side.” 

“Just as in the case of children, the baby which is born immediately from the first sight recognizes its parents without being able to speak, so also the hearts of the bride and bridegroom are entwined together at the first sight without anyone to introduce them, to advise them, or counsel them.” 

“A wife has only one duty: to preserve what we have gathered, to protect our income, to take care of our household.” 

“Chastity is wonderful, and it is even more wonderful when it occurs together with physical beauty. Many women who shine out with physical beauty shine even more with their chastity.” 

“Do you see how her modesty did not spoil her generosity, nor did her generosity corrupt her modesty?” 

“If we try to do something without Him, even if it all seems smooth and easy, we find crevasses, cliffs, and innumerable setbacks in our way. Conversely, if God is present and assisting us, even if the undertaking is the most difficult of all, everything becomes smooth and easy.” 

These writings speak to the beauty of marriage and family life and assure us of what matters on this side of Heaven. I think it is invaluable to read spiritual materials that support us in our vocation. These writings are a testament that a Christ-centered marriage and family is unshakeable. Yes, storms will come, and our paths will not always be straight, but if we point our eyes upward, we will not be led astray. 

The Parallel between St. Chrysostom and the Little Women 

I think St. Chrysostom would agree with Marmee on many of the principles surrounding family life and keeping a home. Little Women was a childhood favorite book series of mine. The movies are also delightful. If you have never watched them - I certainly recommend adding them to your movie-watch list. 

There you have it! I hope you enjoyed learning about this wise Saint and the similar outlook of "Little Women." Have a great week!

Lady K's One Thing:

Check out this fun and relatable wine sommelier - @samanthasommelier on Instagram and her website! Samantha Sommelier (komi.io) She posts great content on making wine FUN and AFFORDABLE with taste test pairings. You will learn all about which wines to pair with Cheetos, Taco Bell, French Fries, and specialty Trader Joes items. She's all about sharing the details on couch crusher and porch pounder wines. We have enjoyed sipping on her Rose recommendation from La Vielle Ferme.